Whale or Mermaid?
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:
THIS SUMMER, DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).
They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins - stuffing themselves with shrimp and other delicacies of the sea. They play and swim in the oceans, seeing exotic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are excellent singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis. Fish or human? Human or fish? They don't have a sex life, because they kill men that lure close to them. Therefore, they don't have kids. They are purported to be exceedingly vain and capricious. Not only that, who wants to be near a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who still makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time, we gain weight, because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that, when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So, we aren't heavy; we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, "Good
gosh! Look how smart I am".
I REST MY CASE.
